a shout out to single moms

I know I am privlaged being where I am, complaining about what I do, whining about what I whine about. I am so lucky. Luck I created on my own.....still, I have been privlaged. I won't deny that.
I read this tonight via Karen Walrond and wanted to help give it a voice, to keep it moving and to reach out a hand.

the weekend that was, and the week ahead

Not to much to report from the weekend, well, not anything different than I have been writing about for months anyway. Lessons and tournaments and house cleaning.

Lessons: Nathan finished up his swim lessons this weekend. Red Cross level 4. This was a pretty big accomplishment for him, he repeated level 3 three times. We have always maintained he can quit after level 6 if he wanted too but now that he is heading into level 5 he said that he likes it and may go past 6. We'll see how he feels when he gets there. In the mean time, just having him go up the ladder off the diving board and jump off on his own accord, that was something special.

Tournament: Our Dan. Another looong day sitting in a gymnasium waiting for our sparring times. Thank fully he had two fights this time around. We have figured out how to pack enough food and snacks for us for the day and to bring a cushion for the butt. Those bleacher seats are unforgiving. Dan and I went on an adventure while waiting for his ring to get through the other sparring matches (the electronic scoring system was down so they had to do things manually) We were at NAIT so we had hallway after hallway of exploring. We had fun checking out the campus. We found a cool spiral ramp inside the building that spanned four floors so we ran up and down it. Fun. Oh, and the best part was Daniel kickin it like he can and getting gold in his belt and weight division. Woo Hoo!! Did I mention it was a long day!?

Cleaning: Typical stuff but all the same it felt different. Everyone helped. I think it may have been the moving of the kitchen table and the giant old wooden stereo that made things feel different. The upstairs is more open and the table is in a cozier area. It made us hang out around the table and chat quite often. I like it! We have a plan for this kitchen dining area now that's pretty solid and I can feel it taking shape pretty quickly. So exciting.

So beside the typical lessons, tournament, cleaning weekend we played a board game ,watched a movie did some grocery shopping ...pretty typical as well. *yawn*

Out of the ordinary, Daniel practiced his fire starting skills in the back yard in anticipation for his up and coming out door ed. camping trip in May with school, they will be graded on basic survival skills, but the coolest part I think, and Daniel tends to agree, is the tickets we purchased to send him to Winnipeg in June/July alone for a long weekend of awesome camping/fishing adventure with his Grandpa. Over the top excited is a good way to describe him when we did it. Although it was weird to see his extreme spike in mood after we finally booked it maybe 30 minutes later, he got really grumpy and stand off-ish for a while, we put it down to emotional over load.

Tayler ventured into the big city of Edmonton on a transit bus alone to a mall she had never been too without me. Despite catching a the right x-fer bus in the wrong direction once she managed ok and made it to her destination. Funny that this is such a big deal to her when I grew up on city buses. Different worlds thank goodness.

Woke up to quite allot of ice/snow this morning (good call Corrie) the drive to work was eventful, lots of lane changes due to spin outs and accidents, very slow moving. Wasn't it just winter last weekend? How soon we forget.

This week at work will be an extra stressful one, more so than normal due to the fact we are getting busier, I am anyway, and we are being sent back to the main office five blocks away. Back to where we came from three years ago. Back to my husbands day in and day out work space. He wasn't my husband when we left that building. This leaves me feeling full of anxiety. I can feel it building with every passing minute here. Trying to maintain our work loads, pack up our cubicles, what to keep, put into storage, throw away. What are our responsibilities in this move, what are the companies? Going back to an office where we spent so many many years, some of us going back have been at this company for 37 years (not me) and so many faces have changed over there since we have been gone. We will be walking the halls and no one will know who we are. We will be the new people. They have their own office groups and clicks, their own routines and gossip. We are going back the new/old kids on the block, it just feels weird. Having been here over 7 years myself I am still the baby in the group, the new kid, but at times it feels like a life time. What is old will be new again at the end of this week.
Time for a vacation.

last day of winter

Primavera bienvenida

Printemps bienvenu

Willkommene Feder

Välkomen Vår

Receba Primavera

Hoş Geldiniz Ilkbahar

Welcome Spring

I AM

I am: a worry wart. I want/need every one around me comfortable and happy.

I think: I am pretty smart but I often sell my self short so I don't disappoint others.

I know: there is real love

I want: my children to have a strong voice and be compassionate to others

I have: an internal unknown sadness

I dislike: fake people

I miss: my Grandpa
I fear: my children won't be able to make it on their own and that I will have trouble letting them fall

I feel: too sensitive. too affected by what others think

I hear: the laughter of my wonderful husband who makes my heart beat wildly

I smell: the ripe smell of the cat litter box

I crave: a road trip

I usually: panic when I have to be one on one in conversation

I search: for quiet, relaxed, carefree moments

I wonder: why I had to waste so much time getting here.

I regret: being so insecure and scared for so long

I love: red wine

I care: sometimes too much

I am always: trying to get my kids to talk to me more

I worry: quite a lot about my children's futures

I remember: the feel of our first kiss like it was yesterday
I have: anxiety
I dance: pretty bad
I sing: so loud in the truck when I am alone not worried at all who sees me
I don’t always: work as hard as I can/should
I argue: I don't like conflict, but my ex-husband can get me going pretty quickly
I write: in my blog but I am afraid to write in a journal
I lose: my cell phone constantly
I wish: I always knew what to say
I listen: to the birds in the morning
I don’t understand: why I can't just relax around people
I can usually be found: cheering in the stands
I am scared: that my husband will die before I do and leave me alone
I need: coffee
I forget: to take care of myself
I am happy: for the life I have


I found this meme at Emma's blog.
you can play along.
c'mon.
you know you want to.

What are we..80?

It's amazing how the evening is wide open when there is dinner ready when you get home from work. The amount of time to do things and get stuff done in the evening is doubled.
Thank you Terry, who took a day off work to get caught up on his Fitness classes to meet his deadlines.
We were done eating by 6 o'clock. 6 o'clock!? nice.
Daniel even got to eat with us before leaving for his taekwando class.
With all this time on our hands the night was ours to do what ever we wanted.
We watched t.v. shows we had recorded. We all had our lunches made for the next day. Two of us cleaned up our bedrooms a little (thanks Tay and Nathan). Had a glass of wine (or two) and even managed to color my hair, it was time.
Crawling into to bed with our new found peace and relaxation, ready to face the week ahead with a good nights sleep we see that it is actually only 9:00....hahahaha..I had to get out of bed to go tuck Nathan in!
A break in routine.

Taxi

I spent the weekend driving kids to and from all sorts of events and friends places. More so than usual.
I didn't mind though, the timing all worked out and it seemed to feel unrushed.
Every one was so busy with various activities and commitments yet, now that Monday is here, I can think back and feel satisfied with the time I spent with each one of my in house family.
True, I wasn't the one busy with activities of my own, but was responsible for getting everyone to where they needed to be on time, with full tummies and everything they needed in tow.
We managed at home meals and took our own snacks. I brought a book along and was able to pull off a chapter or two while waiting. I even managed a 50 minute walk in the gorgeous sunshine while waiting for one event to finish.....
Laundry got done and put away, sheets are all fresh and clean, house is vacuumed and dusted (thank you Roomba the robot vacuum) ,fridge and pantry are full of food.
Yeah, sure our lives are hectic and feel insanely over booked at times but I am feeling like we all have found our groove. We found a way to juggle times and schedules by (mostly) helping each other with support and patients.
We are ticking like a well wound clock at the moment.
I would like to take a moment to pat my self on the back and take some credit for this....I am the one in the middle, behind the scenes keeping things going (not always smoothly)but I couldn't do it with out a great team.
That felt good to say/type.
Life is good.

inspiration

Thanks to inspiration from all around, the final push coming from here, I went cross country skiing this weekend.

Michel and I fought through our inner voice with such a strong opinion of just staying home and relaxing in our PJ's this past Saturday morning. With both of our men other wise occupied we finally set out to do what we have been talking about doing for some time.

It was such a beautiful day.

Some things I learned about cross country skiing:

1. You do not need nearly the amount of clothing or layers you need when going down hill skiing.

I cannot believe how hot I got.

2. It is allot harder work then it looks.

3. Thank you God for ski polls.

4. People are very friendly on ski trails. (a Canadian trait no doubt)

5. Ski shoes have come along way baby.

6. It is so peaceful. Perfect to do with a friend or alone.

7. It is defiantly worth the effort of leaving a warm cozy house and Saturday morning news paper to go cross country skiing.

8. My groin hurts.

9. Two days later, my groin still hurts.

10. Seriously, will I be able to cross my legs this week at all?



Go Skiing! You will love it!