Anxiety

I think I have got me some of that.
It is debilitating at times. Overwhelming mostly.
Heart racing. Blood pumping. Scary. Confusing. Frustrating. Stupid. Inconvenient. Intrusive.

In my head I tell myself I have some sort of social anxiety. I refuse to go look it up though. As soon as I do I will either see that indeed I do have it and instantly start feeling things I didn't know I was feeling and start unconsciously using the label as a crutch or what will come up when I google what I think I got is a website telling me I need to suck it up and get over it already, you don't have an issue or a problem it's all in your head now go put your energy towards feeding the hungry and sheltering the homeless.

I am not yet ready to see either one of those results pop up on the other end of my search for self diagnostic.

In the mean time I will keep talking to my Angel of love and happiness, my husband. ~but not to much so I don't send him running thinking he married a crazy~ Or I can always talk to my good buddy Michel ~but not to much because she tends to tell me 'like it is' and says things that are logical and truthful and makes me look at things in black and white instead of fuzzy purple~ It's not always easy but I'm dealing.
This helps.
I am finding outlets, the suggestion of a journal is one I may have to look at seriously.

Next I will be on here bitching about my writers cramp.