I miss blogging

It's coming back...that old blogging feeling...if only I could figure out why my laptop is not letting me post pictures here it would make life soooo much easier.

Life has been, busy, for lack of a more descriptive term. Its too overwhelming to do a catch up so instead I will look forward and do a ~whats happening now~.....NOW.

Well, right now I am off to do what I have been doing most these evenings, a kid pick up, drop off, transfer. It's good they are so involved and busy right? just say right and make me feel better for 5 minutes. Its good to give your kids opportunity to do and be involved, but some times...sometimes there is something to be said for being bored.

Until next time (soon-ish)

D

The Wedding

One week ago yesterday we had the pleasure and the honor to be in Winnipeg to see my beautiful cousin get married.

Becky & Tom are high school sweethearts and July 2nd 2011 they sealed the deal.
And what a wedding it was! Candy and dancing, wine and great food. Lights, decorations, family, friends and perfect weather. It was a perfect wedding.
Look how happy they are......awe....so sweet.

Did I mention there were bubbles?!

The signage was amazing. The handmade flower decorations and streamers were obviously made with a lot of love, care and attention.
Check out these photos of the bride and groom. There were photos of the two of them together throughout their early relationship as well as individuals of each of them as children....Loved this!My favorite photo was of Becky & Tom (to the right of the photo) and Kim & Nick (to the left) at Kim & Nick's wedding three years earlier who also happen to be the brother AND the sister of the bride and groom of the day....awesome.

Bravo to the main brains and creative of the whole affair for a job well done. Becky and Tom are truly blessed.

Congratulations Becky & Tom. Wishing you a world of happiness.

A special Thank You to my super talented friend Michel over at the new and fabulous Ampersandgrey.com for helping take some of my simple photos and making them look damn good.

Mambo #5, the way is was meant to be interpreted

Who is this darn cute little tap dancer making his on stage debut? Why it's Nathan Morris of course. Be watching for him on any dance show in the future... :)

i hope you can see it



*proud* Mommy moment.

ouch!

Tayler went and got herself some face jewelry.


I hear it's called a Monroe.

She had our permission, she didn't sneak. Her lip is a bit swollen today but she seems proud as punch with it. Where did that saying come from? proud as punch. funny.

riding my bike

This is day two of riding my bike to my new job.

What a feeling of freedom, happiness and independence.

I realized yesterday thou that I had better hone up on my hand signals. I couldn't remember how to signal left so instead I pulled off to the side and got off my bike to cross the busy street. Silly.

And really, I think it may even be faster for me to get to work on my bicycle than by car with all the waiting on lights and school zones and such in the vehicle, I really don't have any of that on my biking way there. Bonus.

I like this.

what a day

It is BeautiFUL outside this morning.

I am off to my first full week at the new job and I gotta say..so far so good.

Directly after work I head over to my very first ball game of the season AND its a double header to boot!

I already walked over and got my vote in too.

What a day, what a day!

first day

And here I go. Off to my first day of work...

Thank you isn't enough to express my gratitude to 'you-all-know-who-you-are' for all the love, support and absolutely needed positive words of encouragement.

I hope one day I can do the same for you just when you need it.

I think some one needs to clean that mirror..

last day

Today is my last day at my 9 year job.

I am filled with many different feelings and emotions.
I am not sad. Not one little bit. No tears will flow today. I had flowers waiting for me on my old desk when I arrived at work this morning. It was really sweet. A thoughtful gesture that was frankly unexpected.

You see I have shut down here at work long ago, I withdrew from the daily gossip and political BS that goes along with every office or work place. I shut it right off except for my Terry. I realize that may not have been the healthiest of approaches. I was simply listening and giving into what my body told me I wanted. I was just unhappy here.

It has been quite the journey right from the beginning when I showed up at in the warehouse working for free as part of my Parts School work experience. After two weeks I managed to convince them to take me on full time. Thank goodness. I was surviving. I won't get into all of that again here though...the end of that chapter is here.

I no longer need to survive. I am walking out of these doors 9 years later with what I came looking for, a better me.

I may have a different last name (last name number four) then when I began this journey but I am leaving with what I started out looking for. That inner voice who used to scream at me to come out from way down deep inside is now riding proud on the outside of me. I am living out loud.

Onto the next chapter. I am pretty excited with a touch of anxious.


*NOTE: no eggs where injured in the making of this post...well, maybe just the blue one....

the making of our Easter eggs

Daniel, Nathan and I set out to create some AWESOME eggs..we had dye, crayons, colored sand, glue and stickers.

Freshly dipped eggs put aside to dry.

Some eggs let their natural design shine through.

Terry joined us later showing off his egg design skills.

Sunday Morning Breakfast

I think one of our eggs was confused. Maybe it was trying to tell us something...looook deeeeeperrrr..yeesssss..deeeeeeeperrrr Your eggs may hold your fortune. But what? Is there anyone out there who can read egg?

freeze,melt,snow,melt,freeze,melt,snow

... so the story goes. Winter 2010/11, you sure kicked our ass this year. Apparently your not done yet.

please stop.

A New Begining

After much (way to much) moaning, groaning, whining, and complaining the answer to "should I stay or should I go" back on October 7, 2009 came....I go. After 8 years it's time to move on. I feel a sense of relief, satisfaction, trepidation and excitement.

I can breath a big sigh of relief as well as look forward to not being tied to a desk every day.

I will be working at a Stationer store as an assistant (for now!) where employees having fun is up there on the priority list. I will be dealing with customers and getting in on the making and creating of some pretty great posters , manuals and what-not..... I am so looking forward to the intimacy that a small family owned business will bring. The communication, teamwork and need to ensure every one is happy with the understanding that it is that kind of an environment that will bring about the best results and product. A happy work place is an efficient work place....it's been a long time missing for me. Taking a leap of faith here, this wouldn't be possible without the support of my fantastic husband....I am not in survival mode anymore, I am in living mode. I just have to get through the next two weeks...it's going to be a heck of a ride. I'm already exhausted. It has definitely been a roller coaster of emotion since first spotting this job in the local news paper. Is this the right thing to do? Can we handle the cut back in wage? Can we work around the change in hours? How will I get through a day with out lunch with my husband? This is the right thing, we both feel it. *fingers crossed*

Choice

Choice consists of the mental process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them.

This is a word that has come up in my thoughts pretty prominently over the last couple of days. Whether its grocery shopping, picking out new shoes or not choosing not to change the colour of you hair for a job opportunity such as Tayler's recent choice.

She was faced with the opportunity to work at a job with an increase in pay but she chose not to accept so she can continue to express herself in the way she feels important to her.

She had a choice that many don't.

We have the choice.

I have the choice....sometimes those choices don't come as easy as I/we would like them too.

Do we choose between the high pay more stress which brings occasional extreme bits of fantasy pleasures like taking an exotic trip every year or so?

Or instead do we choose to forgo that possibility for the simple pleasure of everyday contentment with less disposable income?

In black and white the choice seems obvious. But emotionally the choice is a lot harder.

I don't have to choose between my child being fed or a roof over my head. I don't have to choose between living in a cardboard box or a plastic bag. I am fortunate to have the freedom of choice.

Even the the ones I think are the hard ones.

I finally get it!! *updated*

After all these years I can finally say 'You were right Terry' ......there is actually only one way to to put a roll of toilet paper on the holder....it DOES matter.!! What was I thinking? ***************************************************************************************************** Well, you make me laugh family, there is no real story here. I think I have just finally been broke. All these years later and I have a 'way' that I must have the toilet paper hang...it was not a 'right' way to anyone but Terry. I never cared, I cared so little in fact that I would purposely put the roll on the 'wrong' way just to get a rise put of my guy.



Poor thing, there was so much to adjust to in the first placed for him moving in with his wonderful lady and her three adorable kids and now he is being sabotaged by the one he loves on purpose!!
I just thought it was so ridiculous to have a 'right way' to hang the roll.....so there I was, last week, doing my ~doo-dee~ reaching for the blessed cushions of wipeness when I couldn't find the end...How frustrating!! I spun and I spun only to have a big beam of light shine down on the roll with angelic music coming from (the toilet?) God only knows where, it occurred to me that the toilet paper was on wrong!!

I made a mental note to apologise to Terry (still have yet to do that) for his years of torture and abuse.....funny thing is he never complained, he never said a word, he would just quietly fix the roll to his liking and go about his business, never a peep. I thought I was so funny.

I have now officially been trained in the proper way to hang a roll of toilet paper. check this out your training awaits.

And there she goes...

I know your not supposed to live vicariously through your children but I wonder if that only applies when it is something you are making them do rather than something they are doing all on their own ?~that you probably could have done yourself had you maybe been just a little bit smarter and more of a forward thinking 16 year old~

This latest form of virtual living for me comes from the fact the Tayler has now flown off to New York and not the one in Ontario either, the REAL New York. The New York that I spend my whole life daydreaming about.

This picture was taken at the airport at 4 am Thursday morning as I dropped off Tayler and her friend who stayed the night. (her friends parents are clearly smarter than I)

They have the most amazing eight days planned out ahead of them.

I had a dentist appt later that morning and as they asked me how I was and I blah blah'd about being tired and why, my hygienist Terri listened and asked questions and nodded her head. I start in about how jealous I was and how I have always wanted to go and you know what she said!?...."Then why haven't you gone?" I couldn't immediately answer that question. Why haven't I gone if I have always REALLY really wanted to go? It is possible.

As I type this my two boys are also leaving for their most amazing spring break ever. They are off to Banff with their Dad for a week of skiing/snowboarding in the mountains...How did they all get here? Mind blowing.

I on the other hand took a day off work. I am dubbing it my 'mental health' day. I have been doing this a lot more lately....this is already my third this year. I just book the day off with just minor 'maybe' plans and go from there.

My early morning plans fell through unavoidably so now that I am up and properly fed, thanks to my wonderful husband who is now at work , I sip coffee in my PJ's happily blogging away.

Is this the most boring blog ever? ...haha I think I am going to go shopping!!!

***************************************************************************

It's what happens after a gorging of crab and a few ~ah-hem~ some drinks.

At the Movies

Nathan and I took in a 3D movie together a little while back...just him and I.

It was nice to get out, just the two of us.

It's a tough to find quality one on one time with the kids these days but I am determined to make this a regular thing....I know a 13 year old boy who could desperately use some although he would never admit it.

Sunshine and Happiness

Showed up in my mail box today.....

written inside the envelope was:

Spring has Sprung,
the grass is riz.
I wonder where,
the birdies is?

Happy Spring!

It was signed....Michel.

What a wonderful surprise!

What was the last really cool thing you got in the mail?

Separation Anxiety

This is what I get when I find myself in a vehicle alone in the morning going to work.

Terry and I have, for many years now, driven to and from work together.

Sometimes we get each other revved up for the days pending chaos. Or we talk about the schedule for the day ahead for each other and the rest of the family, or we get caught up with some feelings that may have been overlooked in the hustle and bustle of things.

Sometimes we just drive in silence listening to the morning DJ give it to the people who have nothing better to do than call in to a radio station to complain about everything.

That's kind of fun.

Driving home we use the opportunity to get all of our work day frustrations, gossip and annoyances out, this leaves room for nothing but us, family and all our many responsibilities in the evening...I consider this our bonus time, we don't have to wast time explaining to each other how our day was because we took care of that through out the day and on the ride home.

But sometimes one of us has an appointment in the city after work and we have to take two vehicles. This only happens maybe once every two months or so.

I miss him/us when we do this.....is that crazy? What ever! ~rolls eyes~ Crazy Schmazy

Sadly our drives may be part of whats keeping me at a job that makes my forehead wrinkly.

At least we still get to have our lunch together..........lucky ducks.

That's him up ahead on the right, I may or may not have been driving when I took this with my i-phone.

I ended up beating him to work even though I had to drop Nathan off at before and after school care.....! ha I'll be watching for a photo radar ticket in the mail soon, if it does come I will use it as evidence on why I should not be driving my self to work in the morning. I AM OUT OF CONTROL!

busy weekend recap

A couple of major things which occupied our weekend were;

preparing for a birthday party:

Having a birthday party:
(also wishing I wasn't so afraid just to use auto on the camera so I could actually get a few decent shots)

Putting the final touches on a Potato Power'd science experiment:
Taking care of final business for the big up and coming New York trip for one lucky 16 year old:


Making final snack purchases and checking off the packing list of one lucky (er..unlucky?) outdoor ed camper for this week:
~I just don't get it...but he likes it~

In all this the usual grocery shopping, laundry doing, house caring, swimming lesson, air cadet-ing, normal weekend. But I miss my friend. ~I miss you~ life's been busy, you've been sick and time has passed....time for a dance class! Yes!? oh yeah...it's time for us!

Stupid day light savings, losing an hour in the middle of crazy-ville. Lacking an hour of sleep is just not cool.

4.5 months later

I have finally finished The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo!!

I think that is some kind of record for me as the longest its ever taken me to read a book. I started it on the beach during our family vacation in Mexico last November...early November.

Now I get to watch the movie.

I need a new book to read...ideas? And NOT ~The Girl Who Plays With Fire~ I'm not ready for that yet.

Here I go....

I signed up with a ball team!!

Something I have wanted to do for so long. Being a full time working Mom of three busy children it has been somewhat impossible to do this, or any sport, for so many years. Which was a choice I made and was glad to do it, but as the kids got older and more independent I find time becoming more my own and a slight bit more manageable to do a few more 'me' things.

So this spring I put my name out there saying that I was ready, willing and able to join a ball team if any body wanted me....how exciting/scary. After a week or so I received a call, met up with the manger guy for lunch with my husband in tow (I wasn't crazily going alone) to explain to this semi-interested team manager what I meant exactly when I said things like " I haven't played in many years but I used to be good at it" or " I can't remember the rules so much but I am a quick learner" ~ I know, I can't believe I actually got a call from that either~ In the meeting I guess I some how managed to convince this guy to take pity on me and give me a shot, I showed such enthusiasm after all.....Turns out I remembered less than I thought of the game because I found I am playing slow-pitch not soft ball...slow-pitch has that six foot or more arc in the pitch among other rules that I am sure to 'quickly catch onto', I used to play soft ball which was a more direct, much faster pitch.

No matter, I am so excited to get going.

I play every Monday starting at the end of April if the snow ever melts. Shoot, Nathan plays soccer Mondays & Wednesdays...no biggy, a minor glitch in the system, we can make it work.
I bought my self a good, used, worked in comfortable glove. I got myself a ball too. Now I just need a bat and cleats. Oh, and the stupid snowy cold weather to GO AWAY ALREADY!!

I am so excited about this new adventure.....I hope I don't suck.

But I work hard too!

This is an "it's not fair" rant.....my guilty mind and need for self assurance will apologise in advance if I come off sounding like a spoiled brat who should just be happy for every I have and stop my sniveling already.

Our company is just kicking off its second annual 'biggest loser contest'. As with everything around here it is surrounded by whispers and controversy usually involving people who are to afraid to admit they need it. Harsh but true.


I am not over weight, not right now, I was for a time....kids, depression and other generic excuses made me that way....my light went on and I made changes. I work out hard. I exercise every chance I get, eat healthy-ish...more healthy now than 'ish'. I think positive (I try to think positive) and be a good example for my kids. I consciously think about what I am putting in my body and most recently cut waaaay down on my 'I was drinking red wine like kool-aid' habit to the point of not doing it at all to now being very sporadic. It was hard. All these changes were hard, but I WANTED them. I craved them.


I wanted to be healthy, have energy and feel great about my body, something I don't remember ever being...truly and fully. I am here. But its work, hard work baby, and not always fun but this is what I want and my choice.


The thing is, back to the at work contest, I watched people try last time this contest was on and only a very small few following through. This time around I see and hear people whispering and talking full of excuses and reasons not to join, they just haven't clicked yet. It makes me kind of mad...mad at them for not wanting it more, the good healthy feeling they could have. I don't say anything of course, it's not my place. It's not me they need to listen too its their body, heart and soul. They need to listen.


I can't join this contest, I don't have any weight to lose, I did it over time and work very hard to maintain this....but I am envious as all heck at the glory these people get.


Silly I know, the odd few talk and give each other advice of what to do next and how to move forward in their quest, I feel so happy for them and their new journey. I have tried in the past to join into the conversation and share what works for me and what I do but I get 'the look', its a look of " you have no idea what we are going through" " you don't understand" and I hear things like " 'yeah but its easier for you' or 'you don't have to work as hard' ....*sad face* but I do.


I wish I could join along in their contest, be a part of their quest for a new healthier life style. I wish I could be acknowledged for the hard work and daily choices I make. Feel that sense of accomplishment and change they are going through.


I watch shows like the Biggest loser and Heavy on TV and I tear up for these people, happy tears. So happy for them and their new beginning.


I want that. I want to join this contest because I think I could do well at it! I also want to delete that last line because it looks like an entry ticket into crazy town. I didn't delete it but I do now realize (thanks to this therapeutic rant) that I need to set a goal for my self, something above my comfort zone, something seemingly impossible so I can climb it and conquer it.....Just like my co-workers are doing.....I have to listen to me and pay attention to what I am making excuses not to do and do it.


OK, well...I guess my cheque is in the mail for this session.

parenting 101: life our way

Giving your 9 year old a back up plan:

TEXAS HOLD 'EM

I can't remember

-which arena we should be at

-what time the parent meeting starts

-what day your leaving and coming back

-when your science project is due

-what time tap starts every week (always the same time)

-what time sparing class ends

-which house is your friends so I can pick you up

-when you said y our next big test is

-when you are going to that really cool concert

-what your band name is

-when that form was due back

-what your shifts are

-how much allowance you get



I never used to be this way. I was AWESOME at remembering and organising times and schedules. I was better than awesome at it.....is there just more now?
I really don't think there is. I actually think I have pulled back on things a lot. Maybe that's it, maybe there is less for me to remember, things are becoming less my responsibility and more others responsibility and this is how my brain is responding....its putting on the back up beeper and parking on the flat bed going along for the ride now.
Sad part is I think I am still needed to help keep things going at a steady smooth pace. I think my beeper prematured beeped...premature beepulation!!

oh bother

At just over 1000 kms we can officially call our new 2011 Subaru Forrester 'broken' in. Welcome to Alberta Subey.

See that lovely crack across the windshield? It identically matches the one in the old Blazer. Sexy really does come standard. Show every one your crack Subey.

(or as we affectionately call her tracaragon which is part truck, part car, part wagon. She is a little confused)

A surprise super star in the family

This time it's the cat. Koddee. He's about to hit it big time in Detroit.

No seriously....Koddee is going to be on a greeting card in Detroit Michigan.

Here is a bit of the back ground story as I know it.

Our fabulously talented friend Michel Feist who has a day job on top of all her freelancing at Graphos here in Edmonton was involved in some pro-bono work with a fellow co-worker Graphos was doing for a ACTSS a not-for-profit organisation that helps pets with cancer.

They were working on ideas to use for ACTSS brocures and websites when Michel & crew came up with the idea to depict an animal in a humanized situation receiving chemo treatments, a sort of shock advertising-tug-on-your-heart-strings kind of thing.

So, Michel knows that we have a cat who happens to live with a cat whisperer (Terry, he seems to speak cat somehow) asked us if they could shoot Koddee....yes of course! So they came over and did a photo shoot last summer after work.

After torturing Kodde for about an hour they ended up with the amount of shots and angles needed in order to create this:

I believe they said it was 7 different shots used to make this one

So Chemo kitty was presented at an ATCSS board meeting and they LOVED it! Loved!! Then they were approached by Avanti cards out of Detroit who were interested in securing the greeting card rights to this image! wha...?? Graphos and ATCSS agreed to this as well as to donate all proceeds from the sale of the image to ATCSS for use in pet cancer treatments.

So there he is, our annoying none-to-cuddly cat is going to be famous in Detroit.

Who would have thunk.